Sillyness Spelled Wrong Intentionally

Man, it has been a crazy year. I went from working for myself, to working with some other guys, and now I am back on my own again.

Life is nothing if not interesting.

With all that being said, I think I will be returning to my site here, and writing more. I love to write, and haven’t been afforded much of an opportunity lately. I am still working on my new WordPress book, but progress has slowed as I have shifted what little writing time I have to my first novel.

That’s right internets, I am writing a novel.

This month is NaNoWriMo, which I have been doing, on and off, since its inaugural year. I have been absent for a while now, but this year felt like the right one to come back. I am working on the first book in a trilogy, that currently has no name.

Book One of the “Unnamed Trilogy” is Hinterlands. In a nutshell it is a supernatural thriller that I have been working on, plot-wise, for the last 10 years or so. It deals with Vamps, Weres and Ireland.

How can you go wrong with that formula? I will be posting more about it soon, and since I am planning on publishing it, there will be a site, with art from the always amazing Anton Peck, living there. Anton has graciously agreed to create the cover art for the book.

This thing just got real up in here.

Once again I was asked to give the Homily (aka sermon) at church today. I thought I would post it for those of you who are religiously inclined.

The Scripture reading was Luke 5:1 - 11. The homily follows.

In the name of the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit. Amen.

There is so much truth and beauty contained in these few sentences, that to try and talk about all of them today would be impossible. So instead I am going to pull out three threads from this reading, and really focus in on them.

First I want to talk about who our Lord called to follow him, fisherman.

St. Gregory the Theologian famously wrote:

“The fisherman are Teachers of the Church, who catch us in the net of Faith, and as it were, bring us to shore, to the land of the living.”

Peter, James and John were fishermen. Not theologians, not men of learning and refinement. They were simple, honest hard working people. The phrase “salt of the earth” comes to mind when I think about them.

In short, the last people you or I would choose if we were asked who would be the foundations of our church. But they had what God always looks for. Obedience and Humility.

Once they encountered God, face to face, they were obedient to His call, and humble in His presence.

These were the types of people that Christ called to himself throughout His ministry and they are still the types of people that God calls to himself today, both to the ministry of the Royal Priesthood, like our Priest and Deacon, and those like you and I who are called to the lay ministries.

You might be wondering why this is important to us today. Each of us is called to follow in the footsteps of these fisherman. To cast our nets out into the dark oceans of the world and catch souls in them, bringing them into the light, into the saving knowledge of God.

And just like these men, we might not be great theologians, or great preachers. We might just be simple men and women, who long for salvation and want to share it with everyone around us.

Thankfully it is not by our power alone that we are asked to seek and save the lost, but with the assistance and power of God, as todays gospel so wonderfully illustrates.

When Christ called to the men on the water and told them to lower their nets, Peter, an experienced fisherman knew that it was foolish, he just knew it.

How many times in our lives have we been like Peter? How many times has God called to us, asked us to step out in faith and do something, to only have us say “No Lord, that won’t work, I can’t possibly do that.”

I know from my own life, this happens all to often. To often we allow the “wisdom of the world” to lead us away from God. But there is no wisdom in the world, apart from Christ who is the Light and Word of God.

All of Peter’s experience and skill told him that after a night of failed fishing, there was no hope to catch fish now. Had he not been in the presence of God, that would have been true. But that part of Peter that longed for God, longed for healing and salvation responded to the Lord’s command, and they lowered the nets.

We all have this longing, a longing for our creator, and it is this longing that brings us to His Holy Church.

Here we learn the second lesson this reading has to offer.

When we put our faith and trust in God, the impossible becomes possible. Without God there was no hope to catch even one fish, but with God, and a simple mans faith, the nets were so full they broke, and the boats themselves began to sink from the weight of so many fish.

The faith of the fishermen was rewarded with a miraculous catch. So to is our faith rewarded when we cast our nets out into the world. With God a lame man can walk, a blind man can see and a simple fisherman can become one of the greatest of the apostles.

And just like those fisherman so long ago, we can fill our nets to the breaking point today. By simple acts of compassion, generosity and love for our neighbors we can transform the world from a cold, dark, lonely place into one filled with love, light and compassion.

Our God is a God of miracles. The Old Testament is full of them, from the creation accounts in Genesis to the parting of the Red Sea. The New Testament is founded on a miracle, the day that God took on flesh and became man, and contains the greatest miracle, the greatest moment in human history.

The Resurrection of our Lord God and Savior Jesus Christ.

And my friends, miracles did not end with the Ascension of our Lord, they continue today. From miraculous healings, to icons that weep tears of oil that heal any they touch. They happen here in this very church every time we gather together for the Lord’s Supper, for the Eucharist.

An amazing miracle is only minutes away from us, right now.

Lastly we learn of our Lord’s great compassion and love for us, for mankind. In our hymns, prayers and services we refer to Christ as “The only Lover of Mankind”, and we are so grateful that he is.

When Peter saw the great multitude of fish he fell on his face, at Jesus’ feet and despaired at his own sinfulness. During Great and Holy Lent we imitate Peter and fall down on our faces, in an act of contrition and humility before our Lord.

When confronted with the holiness and divinity of our Lord, Peter’s own sinful nature became even more apparent. Peter pleaded with Christ to “Depart from me, for I am a sinful man, O Lord!”

But here Peter was wrong. Our Lord came to the world to save sinners. It is the sick and dying who need a doctor, not the healthy. As the Lord himself would say later in the Gospel of Luke:

“For the Son of man came to seek and to save that which was lost.” — Luke 19: 1 10

Peter cried out from the pain of his own sin, but Christ being compassionate and merciful tells him “do not be afraid.” Our Lord knew Peter’s heart, his desires, his sins, his whole life.

He knew that Peter had begun a new journey, one that would lead away from sin, and towards salvation.

Peter was lost, but now he had been sought by the Lord and saved. And in turn he would go out into the world to seek and save others, as would the rest of the apostles.

It is a pattern that although began two thousand years ago, continues today. Those that are asked to take on the responsibility of leadership in the church are just like the Fishermen in todays Gospel.

They are sinners who were roaming the wilderness of the world, lost sheep that the Good Shepherd searched out and found. Once they were found the Lord said to each of them, every reader, sub-deacon, deacon, priest and bishop, “Come follow me.”

St. Bede, a 7th century Saint wrote:

“The Lord soothes the fears of the unspiritual man so that no man need be fearful in his conscience because of his own past guilt; or, confounded at the sight of the innocence of others, be discouraged in setting out himself on the road to sanctity.”

What St. Bede is saying here is that we should not be afraid to turn to our Lord in times of need, sorrow or helplessness. He will not hold our past sins against us; once confessed they no longer matter to him.

They cease to exist.

He will tell us, as he told Sts. Peter, James and John, “Do not be afraid. Follow Me and I will make you fishers of men.” That is our calling brothers and sisters, to be fishers of men.

To call all men to Christ, and by so doing, free them from the bondage of sin. This is the calling of all Christians, not just the Bishops, Priests and Deacons, but for each and everyone of us.

May we find the strength to set aside all those things that come between us and our healing, our salvation, so that we can follow our Lord and truly be the fishers of men he has called us to be.

In the name of the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit. Amen.

After many false starts, soul searching and general laziness, I have finally launched WordPress By The Numbers.

The first chapter covers the initial buildout of a plugin that Integrates your instagr.am feed into your WordPress site. I will be releasing one chapter a month for the next 9 months.

Each chapter comes in PDF and eBook format, with a full code download.

As some of you may recall I conceived of this idea many, many months ago and immediately started working on it. Unfortunately life got in the way and it sat abandoned. Well lucky for you I found some time to dust it off and revamp it.

Pay 60.00 for 3 chapters.

For a refresher, I have written two books for traditional distribution, but for a tech author there isn’t much money, control or satisfaction down that path. I started thinking of a better way to write my next book, and that is where By The Numbers came from.

Most people spend 50 - 60 dollars on a book that contains only 2 or 3 chapters they actually care about. But since the books are produced in toto, you are forced to pay for content you don’t need. With my By The Numbers books, that problem is addressed.

Each book is released chapter by chapter. Each chapter will set you back $2.99. You only buy the chapters you think are applicable to your situation. Only care about plugins? The chapters covering creating a plugin would set you back $8.97.

Want just the chapters on themeing? $8.97. Want the chapter on caching in WordPress and getting the most out of the functions file in your themes? $5.98.

Where’s the community

You aren’t the only person who has bought this book (or chapter), where are these people? Are they running into the same problems you are implementing the code? I wonder if they have the same ideas you do after reading the chapter and working out the code. Wouldn’t you love to have access to them? To the author from time to time?

Of course you would. Each chapter from a By The Numbers book has a corresponding forum that allows you to interact with other readers of the book, as well as the author, as time permits. We are doing this at the same time, why not do it together?

In Closing

I have been wanting to write another book for a while, but wasn’t excited about working with traditional publishers. I wanted to connect more with my readers, and produce something that was a good value for your money. I think that with the By The Numbers system I can do that.

I am super excited about where this could go. I have 2 other books in the wings that I want to write and release this way, and I am already talking to some other smart people who are interested in it as well. Everything hinges on how well WordPress By The Numbers sells.

Thanks in advance for reading, and sharing your hard earned money with me. Together we can do something radical to an established industry. Its time to start.

This past Sunday I was asked to give the Homily (aka sermon). I thought I would post it for those of you who are religiously inclined.

As always be respectful or I will nuke you. The homily follows.

Today we remember the healing of the Paralytic. Many homilies have been written on this miracle, most of them focusing on the connection between physical illness and our great enemy sin.

Today, I would like to focus on two aspects of this story, the charge that Jesus gave him afterwords, as they met in the temple and the loneliness of the man.

“See, you are well! Sin no more, that nothing worse befall you.”

You see it wasn’t enough that this man was healed by God, he needed to do some follow up work. If you will, he was given a prescription by Christ that he needed to follow for the healing to remain intact.

I think we all can relate to this. We have all gone to the doctor for some sickness or ailment and after we are diagnosed, we are given a prescription to take. This medicine is critical to our successful recovery, our successful healing. How many times have you heard a doctor admonish you to:

“Now take this entire prescription, don’t just take it until you feel better. If you don’t complete the course of this medicine, your sickness is likely to return, and be worse than before.”

I know I have heard this statement more times than I can count. Right now you might be asking yourself what these two things have to do with each other, and more importantly, what this has to do with our lives today.

I am glad you asked! You see, sin is a disease. It infects us after we are brought into this world, and the longer we are in it the worse it becomes. Our Baptism and Chrismation are Holy acts of Healing that enter into our Person and attack sin, this horrible disease, and allow us to move closer to God.

But just like Jesus’ healing of the Paralytic, after our grafting into the Church, we are given a prescription from our Heavenly Father. We are given the most perfect and blessed course of treatment known to man.

Services like Holy Unction are an example of this Holy Medicine. The epistle of St. James tells us of the commission to the presbyters to heal the sick:

“Is any among you sick? Let him call for the elders of the church, and let them pray over him, anointing him with oil in the name of the Lord; and the prayer of faith will save the sick man, and the Lord will raise him up; and if he has committed sins, he will be forgiven.” (Jas 5: 13-15)

You see from this passage that the Church has always connected physical healing with spiritual healing, and we as inheritors of this teaching get to live out this truth in the present day.

And where do we find this treatment? In Christ’s Holy Church. The sacraments and services of the church are the course of treatment given to us by God to combat the re- emergence of Sin in our lives, and to lead us to a place of perfect healing and cleansing.

And just like a prescription for antibiotics that you are charged to take until they are gone, the Holy Prescription given to us by our Lord must be taken in whole. No part can be removed without compromising the effectiveness of the entire treatment.

Confession leads to Communion, which leads to Prayer, which leads to Alms Giving, which leads a softening of the heart, which leads to Holiness, which leads us to God.

And just as these sacraments build on one another, and lead us to God, so to do the services.

Great Vespers leads us to the Divine Liturgy, which leads us to Winter Lent, which leads us to Christmas where we meet Our Lord God and Savior face to face, which leads us to Great and Holy Lent, which leads us to His Passion, which Brothers and Sisters, leads us to Salvation.

Christ’s Holy Church is a Hospital. More appropriately, it is like an emergency room, filled with hurting, dying people. We all come here to be healed and saved. But just like an emergency room the Church can be noisy and messy.

Saint John Chrysostom whose Liturgy we celebrate today famously coined the phrase “The Church is a hospital.” Both he and Saint Basil the Great wrote prayers for healing that eventually formed the basis for the Holy Unction service.

Just like an emergency room, the church is where miracles happen and people are saved. That is why we go to the hospital when we are sick, and that is why we come to Christ’s Holy Church. To be healed.

Now, we must speak of the loneliness of the Paralytic. As we are introduced to this man we discover that he has been there a long time, but with no friends to place him in the pool, he could never be healed.

In this story we discover one of the most important lessons the scriptures have to teach, us. We cannot be saved alone. Salvation and healing come in community, when friends are there to lift you up, to carry you, physically as well as emotionally and spiritually, to the pool of Christ’s healing and love.

One of my favorite icons illustrates this concept beautifully. While viewing the “Ladder of Divine Ascent” icon, you see that those who are climbing the ladder to heaven alone, are being pulled down by the demons.

It is only those who are climbing, hand-in-hand, that are able to fight their way to the top. Only together can we hope to overcome Sin, Death and the Devil.

Only together can we climb the ladder to heaven. Only together can we find healing and salvation. Our ascent, and our healing continues today, as we come together as one body to celebrate The Lord’s Supper.

I would like to close with a story.

I had a friend who couldn’t understand why my wife and I converted to Orthodoxy, some 7 years ago. I tried to explain to him all the gifts that the church gives us, gifts that we found we needed.

Confession, communion, holy unction, the cycle of services that order our lives. I spoke to him with more emotion and love than I was aware I had for the Church, at that time. When I was done with my impassioned outburst he simply said to me:

“All those things are great, but they are crutches. You don’t need them, all you need is Jesus.”

I was stunned, offended and at a loss for words. This was a friend whom I loved, opened my home to when he needed it, and he had just insulted something I loved, cherished and felt as though I was saved by.

It was horrible.

It wasn’t until many months later that I realized that he was partially right. These things were crutches. But my God we need them. When you break your leg, you go to the doctor and they put it in a cast, and they send you home with a pair of crutches.

You are given these crutches because until your leg is healed, you cannot stand on your own. If you tried you would fall, and hurt yourself even worse. If you break your arm or collarbone, you are given a sling for your arm. These things are done to help with your healing, since your body cannot do it properly on its own. For us the sacraments and services of the church are exactly the same.

We cannot hope to stand in this world of sin without the help of God, and He has chosen, in His wisdom, to give us crutches, so that we may stand while we are being healed, being made whole. And knowing our own weakness, he has given us each other, so that we might lean on each other when times are the worst. Here in this place, we lift each other up.

Our God is a glorious God of healing and Miracles. He is the Great Physician who heals soul, body and spirit. Let us today begin again our course of healing with a renewed commitment.

Please forgive me if my words have fallen short of their mark, I am but the most sick among you, clinging to God and his healing mercy.

In the name of the Father, Son and Holy Spirit. Amen.

Now you know and knowing means you get cool crap. At least that’s what it means on the twitters. What am I talking about you might ask?

Well my friend, sit down for a spell, and I will enlighten you. On April 21st, 2011 I replied to a very funny tweet from @PepsiThrowback:

Tweet made, I went on my merry way. A day or so later I got a DM from our friends @PepsiThrowback, telling me they thought my tweet to them was rad, and that they wanted to send me something “From the Throwback Vault.”

I quickly sent them my mailing address, assuming I was going to get a t-shirt or something. Then, yesterday after work I found this waiting for me:

Ooooh, that is a pretty big box for a t-shirt. I wonder what could be inside. Hmm, looks like a card:

Oh well that’s nice guys, I think you are totally rad as well. You might actually be bordering on bodacious. Looks like there is something else under this paper. Lets get that out of the way and take a look.

Oh two cans of Pepsi Throwback and… Holy Crap is that GI JOE!?

Holy Balls, it is a set of GI JOE action figures from 2008! That is just ridiculously awesome. Let’s take a closer look.

The only irritating part about this whole thing is now I have to make the decision, do I take them out to play with them with my boy, or keep them mint in the box?

I blame you for my current existential dilemma Pepsi. I blame you. Oh and thanks for the swag, it is truly awesome.