To my worthy adversary Victor I Emperor of America,

It is I the Lord of Applegrove, Duke of Woodspointe and defender of small furry woodland creatures everywhere.  The good people of America will no longer be subject to your "between homes" regime, they demand an Emperor with an address and a phone number.  I have heard thier cries and I now answer them.

So in keeping with the rights of ascension that you youreself have put into place, I am informing you here in this all-encomposing medium that I challenge your claim to the porcelain throne of this fine land.

If I have not recieved a response from you within 48 hours I will assume that you have abdicated and I am the rightful Emperor of America.  If you wish to settle this dispute with strength of arms, our two armies will meet on the field of battle... by the monkey-bars or possibly the jungle gym.

The Rightful Emperor of America,
Lord Christoph.